


The Nine Steps

by nausicaa82



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Hospitals, M/M, Sad, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 21:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nausicaa82/pseuds/nausicaa82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has returned to visit the last remaining Avenger on Earth, Bruce Banner, only to find out that the man is dying. Nine scenes of their long good bye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nine Steps

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'd, I welcome people politely pointing out mistakes so I may correct them.

When Steve came back to Earth, just as he had done for decades, it was after the warmth of spring had banished the last threat of frost. This time though it felt different. He was alone as Thor had to stay and attend to some diplomatic duties as king, and Bruce’s house was completely empty.

It took a few days, but Steve still had his connections and tracked him to the hospice in the mountains nearby run by the Buddhist monks. The super serum had finally played out in Bruce’s body, leaving him frail and in pain as the gamma radiation took its hold and caused his bone cells to mutate without the fearful symmetry of The Other Guy.

Steve knocked softly at the door, and his dear friend, his last connection to Earth, looked up from his book with glassy eyes and wearily smiled.

“Is it spring already?” He turned his head towards the glass sliding doors of his room and the small garden just beyond them. “It’s hard to tell at this altitude.”

“I thought you had decided to be an Easter egg this year, hiding away, not leaving a note.”

“I didn’t want just anyone to find me,” Bruce made to sit up a little straighter and then smiled a little brighter. “And I knew you would find me. You always find me.”

That night, Steve sent word through Heimdall to Thor, explaining the situation and imploring him to come as soon as he could.

\--

The bonds of battle were not easily cut, and over the years even as the members of the Avengers had retired and pursued other things, they never lost touch with each other.

“Maybe Tony was the glue, and after he,” Bruce rolled his hand as if that would help him say the word, “died…”

“Naw, I think all of us were pretty damn sticky. Tony just needed the constant socializing, wanted to control and structure how we would be together. Lord, you remember when he had us all living in the tower?” The two men laughed until Bruce winced in pain at the effort.

“But you and I,” Steve pointed back and forth between them, “we’ve known what it is truly like to be alone and just knowing the other was there, somewhere; that was enough.” Steve swallowed the lump that suddenly was in his throat.  “Wasn’t it?”

Seeing Bruce so ill, Steve was now ashamed of his dual residencies, but when it had started it had made so much sense. Thor could not deny his duties to his realm, and he could not be without his Steve. The Earth had changed so much; it did not need a group like the Avengers anymore, most of his friends had died, and Steve found himself without purpose. Asgard gave him purpose, and Thor loved him. So forty years after waking up from the ice, Steve made his husband’s planet his home. Although it took some adjustment, he felt like he belonged there more than he ever had on Earth.

“It was, Steve. It really was.”

\--

 “Are you scared?”

“No. I don’t think I am even angry anymore.” Steve raised his eyebrow at that and offered a bite of rice to his friend.  Bruce just shook his head ‘no’ and sipped his Coke instead.

“But, you’re _always_ angry. You and millions of talking dolls said so,” Steve teased and popped the rice into his mouth.

“What can I say, Cap? Unlike what you may have been taught in school, action figures do not always speak the truth.” Bruce pushed his plate away untouched except for a few slices of mushrooms missing. “So what are you going to do next?” Steve shrugged his shoulders as he chewed and then swallowed.

“Stay at Asgard, the time isn’t as…” Steve looked up as if the word was written on the ceiling.

“Jarring? Confusing?” Bruce suggested.

“… painful,” Steve finished. Asgardians seemed to age at the same pace Steve was, so he did not feel the guilt for his still youthful face like he had when he had seen the wrinkles and silver hair of his fellow Avengers. Bruce sighed and nodded in understanding.  

\--

Steve had carried Bruce outside to sit on the bench in the garden and watch the sun set behind the mountains. The tumors had left his bones so fragile that there was a possibility they would break if he tried to walk.

“You’ll get to see Betty again, and Tony, Natasha and Cli—“

“You know I don’t believe in that, Steve,” Bruce cut him off.

“Thor said he saw them, had a vision after they passed.”

“That could be many things, the least of which is that somehow they continued as a spirit that—“

“BRUCE!” Steve snapped in anger, and the two looked at each other for a moment before Steve’s lip started to quiver. “I don’t want this to be the end of you.” His voice was shaky and his blue eyes reflected the soft glow of the sun’s last rays.

Bruce looked away and mumbled, “We don’t always get what we want,” so softly that without his super hearing, Steve would have missed it.

\--

Steve read to him—the news, books, science journals. He even recounted old stories that he remembered so clearly but Bruce had no memory of at all.

“…and he’s there, only in his cape, with the toaster. There’s smoke everywhere, and Tony just loses it-- you know how he was about his machines-- and starts ranting to a naked demi-god about how he isn’t allowed to do anything in the kitchen unsupervised anymore.

“Now this is well after Thor had prepared actual feasts with wild boars for us. Remember those? I had seen Thor master all kinds of machinery in the kitchen that Tony could not even begin to imagine how to use and…” Steve trailed off as Bruce was laughing so hard his eyes watered and he started to cough.

Steve stood to offer assistance, but Bruce waved him back and the cough died on its own. One of the young monks then entered, and Steve was sure he was going to be asked to leave as they have been particularly loud that afternoon. Instead, he just smiled and put down a tray of tea. Steve must still have looked guilty to the man because before leaving, he patted him on the back.

“Laughter with a friend is the best comfort for any pain. You are a blessing.” The monk squeezed Steve’s shoulder before leaving the room, and the two Avengers spent the rest of the day recounting stories and laughing so much it was hard for either of them to breathe.

\--

One day when the young monk brought in lunch, Bruce just kept looking out to the garden, and Steve thanked him for the both of them.

“Let’s see what they have for you today, oh that garlicky tofu, some vegetables and strawberries, and of course, this great rice.” Steve picked up the chopsticks and started placing some in a bowl. “Come on Bruce, you can’t let it go to waste.” He placed it in front of him with a smile that faded as the scientist grabbed the chopsticks in a fist and pointed them accusingly.

“You eat it! You and your perfect fucking body! Why’d it work out so fucking well for you and not me? Huh? Explain it to me, Steve.” As his anger took control, it was no longer a painful shift of mass and torn fabric, just a man frustrated at how his life, extended as it had been, was still coming to an end. Steve sat with his lips pressed together, unable to answer.

“I don’t want the damn rice,” Bruce snarled and stabbed the chopsticks vertically into the bowl. Then with a bat of his hand, he sent it flying across the table. Steve instinctually caught the bowl before it fell off.

“I was smarter; I worked harder for it; I deserved it more! Why couldn’t it have worked like it did for you?”

“I don’t know. I wish it had; more than anything, I wish it had,” Steve replied softly. Bruce was about to argue but he saw the sincerity in his friend’s eyes, and his anger faded almost as quickly as it had arrived.

“Sorry. I—“

“Hey, no apology needed.”

Bruce was silent for awhile until with a sigh he confessed, “It hurts my shoulder to eat...lifting things to my mouth, it…”

Steve was already moving closer to him with the bowl, picking up some squash with the chopsticks. Reluctantly, Bruce opened his mouth as he was offered the food. Steve then smiled as Bruce chewed, thinking of times when Bucky feed him broth like this when he had been very ill.

“Look at me now, renowned scientist, sometimes hero, and Captain America is feeding me like a baby.” Bruce shook his head like he couldn’t believe it.

“No,” Steve shook his head, “like a brother,” he corrected, and brought another offering to Bruce’s lips.

\--

“It feels worse leaving than any of the times I’ve been left,” Bruce announced one night in the darkness. Steve moved from his cot to behind Bruce in his bed and gently rubbed at his back.

“That’s been my experience with dying,” Steve answered.

Bruce stopped for a moment, confused until his fuzzy mind remembered. “Oh yeah, the plane and that other time.  You’re practically a professional at almost dying, Steve.”

“It’s a hard way to make a living.” Bruce’s body shook with the laughter he tried to keep down since it so late.

“So, are you getting an apple?”

“I’ve been given two by Idunn, but I can only eat one. They are special.”

“Of course they are.” Bruce’s body now was just shaking from its need to create some heat.

“One will keep me alive for as long as Thor plus one moon. The other and I’ll go a moon before he’s fated to.”

“Are we going with Ragnarok being an actual thing?”

“Well, I’m not sure it’s going to go down like the stories say. Thor seems not to put too much faith in them, but Asgardians seem pretty sure about fate.”

“Which are you going to eat?”

“I’m not sure about that either. Thor doesn’t know that my apples are different than the others, that I have a choice. I am not sure he could stand to be without me for too long.”

“It’s only a month.”

“In Asgard, a ‘moon’ is more like five years. The thing is I’m not sure I could stand to be without him. I know that's pretty cowardly…”

“No, Steve! I stand by my statement. It’s much worse being left behind.”

Steve was about to question Bruce’s switch, but he heard the brunet’s teeth chattering and instead moved closer to his friend.

“You’re warm just like Thor said,” Bruce sighed.

“Thor’s been talking about me?”

“We always talked about you, even before you two,” Bruce yawned and scooted into Steve's radiating warmth, “were together.”

\--

“I don’t think he’s going to make it in time.”

“You’re strong, Bruce. You’re gonna wait for him.”

“Is that an order, Captain?”

“Damn right it is.”

“I’m just so tired.”

“Look! There’s a storm coming across the valley. I bet that’s him. He wants to say goodbye so much. I know it. You have to hold on.”

“Read to me, Steve, please.” The blond left the glass door open so the smell and sound of the rain in the garden would come through the screen. He gently sat next to Bruce on the bed and opened the book of short stories.

“The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way…” Steve started to read.

The sharp plinks and pings of hail hitting the bench and walkway signaled it was not Thor’s storm. Steve looked up and turned to Bruce to see the man asleep as the morphine had overpowered his will to hear the end.

\--

Thor finally arrived late one afternoon, but by then Bruce had been spending most of his time sleeping, waking only to drink and ask Steve to read to him the Asminov story again. The couple embraced standing next to their friend’s bed as he labored in his sleep to breathe.

“Why did he not contact us? We could have brought the healers!” Thor hissed in muted tones, not wanting to wake Bruce.

“Thor,” Steve started but his mouth went dry and he had to drink something before he could say it. “He didn’t want to be rescued this time.”

Bruce then opened his eyes, and lit up at seeing Thor there.

“You made it. I knew you would make it. Come here, I wanna tell you something.” Thor leaned in, and Steve was compelled to step out into the garden and sit on the bench. He pulled his knees into his chest, glad that Thor was here now and he didn’t have to be strong all on his own.

Dark clouds immediately started to grow above the mountain lodge and the crack of thunder made Steve turn around to look into the room. There, Thor and Bruce were hugging on the bed, the smaller man comforting the larger by patting his head; Thor was sobbing without shame.  

\--

They scattered his ashes into the first crisp wind of fall. As Thor presented the monks with a satchel of Asgardian gold for their time and care, Steve packed his things up for the journey back. At the bottom of his bag were the two apples, and without a second thought, Steve chose and bit into the golden fruit. The other withered and rotted immediately, providing no slack for a change of heart.

“Are you ready to return, my love?” Thor asked as he entered the room.  Steve disposed of the core and remains of the other apple, and then without warning broke down in his husband’s arms. Finally he allowed himself to cry and mourn the loss of his friend and the last part of him that was of Earth. Thor held him patiently until Steve had his breath again and wiped the wetness from his face.

“Come, let us go home. We shall mourn properly there.” Steve gripped Thor tightly the entire way back to the Bifrost, not wanting to let go of the only thing he had left.


End file.
